Emotionally In Sync

This evening I went to the grocery store by myself while Tom stayed home with Andrina. A mom and her little girl, about 4 years old, walked into the store ahead of me and the little girl was telling her mom that they needed bread. It was very cute. She had brown hair like Andrina and I immediately thought that someday my daughter would be a little girl like that. It hit me so hard that Andrina will not be a baby forever that I almost started crying while getting my shopping cart! I mean, of course I KNOW that she won't be a baby forever. Every day she gets closer and closer to being a toddler, now that she's an older baby and not a newborn. And I wonder when did this happen? I've been with Andrina every day of her life and it seems impossible that she's not a tiny newborn any more. She's an older baby; rolling all over, getting on her hands and knees rocking back and forth, trying to crawl, sitting up on her own, preffering solid foods over her bottle. And then I remembered how only a few months ago she couldn't even hold up her own head and I can't understand when she did all this developing.

So there I was, almost crying in the grocery store over the fact that my baby will someday grow up. And I had no desire to cry in public so I pulled out my shopping list and coupons to find coupons for items on my list to distract myself.

Well, Andrina must have known how I was feeling because when I got home, she would not let me out of her sight without screaming! I was only gone about 2 hours (did other errands too) and for an hour of that time Andrina was taking a nap. But Tom insists that Andrina misses me when I'm not home (which is not very often-no more than an hour or two at a time a few days a week while I go to the gym or do errands, or get my hair or nails done-otherwise I'm home with Andrina or we are out together). So Andrina was screaming when she could not see me so I immediately went to her and took her out of her stationary entertainer. I firmly believe at her age that she is still so young that it is best to meet her needs as soon as possible. She is too young to understand that Mommy comes to her as soon as she cries and therefore will cry to get me. Her cognitive processes are just too immature for her to understand that she can influence other people's behavior and therefore take advantage of that. So as soon as Andrina saw that I was there, she was ok but I wanted to help put away groceries so I put Andrina in her sling and carried her around in that for about 30 minutes (I really don't use the sling very much, maybe once a week because I'm just always with her and I don't try to do housework and such while she's awake).

I am very happy that my baby and I are so attached to each other. I'm so blessed that I am able to enjoy her, be with her, take care of her, play with her, love and nurture her. I know I made the right decision to wait till my 30s to have her. I don't think I could appreciate my daughter and enjoy being a mom if I was still in my 20s. I am at the point in my life where I LOVE BEING A MOM! All the dirty diapers, spit up, lost sleep, hearing the same baby music, singing the same nursery rhymes, playing all the baby games and reading baby books to Andrina, I love it all. I'm able to look at her experiences through her perspective and can enjoy every new discovery and experience that Andrina has. And I believe that this is only going to get stronger with her development. I am a fan of Brazeleton but I don't agree with him when he says that the height of the parents' love affair with their child is at four months old. I think my love affair with Andrina peaked when she was roughly four months old but it has not declined. I am going to contine to enjoy my daughter and as she gets older and as she can do more things, we're going to enjoy them together. And I know that as she gets older she is going to become more of her own person and I will need to have even more patience with her. That is ok-that's just how life is and I am determined to have a very close relationship with her thoughout her life.

I decided to post some pictures from bathtime tonight too, even though they don't have anything to do with this blog's subject matter.

OMG-Andrina's the cutest, sweetest, happiest, most beautiful baby ever! Yes, I know that I gush... but as her mommy I'm allowed to!

You just keep getting stonger every day...

Awwww, my little Sweetie! I love you so much!