Wednesday, June 4, 2008
How Can I Say "No"?
Tonight Andrina kept pulling up and standing in the bathtub and of course I tell her "no" and help her to sit back down because it's just too dangerous for her to practice her standing skills in the bathtub. But it was not that simple. She kept pulling up on me and holding on to my shoulders by my neck, sometimes she would put her mouth on my face, almost like she was trying to kiss me. Well, of course all of this just completely won my heart (like she hasn't already?) and how can I say no to my baby when she is reaching out for me? When she is expressing a need for affection or trying to give me affection? I just cannot reject this. Well, I thought I figured it out when I would embrace her back, letting her still hold on to me while saying "no standing in the tub" and helping her to sit back down. But she just kept doing it over and over again. How can I communicate that her behavior of pulling up and standing in the tub is dangerous while not rejecting my baby's affection? I will never reject her affection, no matter what is going on at the time. We have an extremely strong bond and I will not do anything to damage it. But I need to help her learn that there are some things she can't do because they are not safe. Do I just keep doing what I was doing over and over again, as many times as it takes?
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1 comment:
Welcome to pre-toddlerhood and the beginning of Andrina expressing her will! This is just a taste of what toddlerhood will be like. (Fortunately, she will most likely introduce you slowly and continue to be sweet and angelic for at least another year before the "terrible 2s" hit.) Anyway, this is something you are going to have to deal w/ more and more as she grows. I think you have to decide what sort of disciplining parent you are going to be (ie, will you be more permissive, or strict or somewhere in the middle?) You also have to figure out which battles are ones you are going to choose. It sounds like safety and standing in the bathtub might be one of those battles? Who knows...is there a mat you can get that will give her traction so she can stand? Other than telling her no, sitting her back down over and over, there's not much else you can do. she is too young for any sort of discipline-even simple instruction. It's a fine balance-she needs to learn to obey you, especially in dangerous situations, but how do you teach that to a baby? And, as you pointed out, how do you do that while still letting her know you love her and accept her? It's something you'll figure out as you go along. You can do it, as you said, you have a great bond already and you want the best for her, so you'll figure out what works for you and your family. Good luck!
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