Easing Some of my Mommy Guilt

When I was pregnant with Andrina, I always envisioned myself nursing her and co-sleeping with her. Partly because it would make middle of the night nursing easier and partly because there is such a tender notion of mommy & child sleeping together in the same bed. Well, reality hit and neither of those really worked out. I couldn't make enough milk for Andrina and had to pump and supplement with formula so much that I only nursed for 3 weeks. And I'm too restless of a sleeper to trust myself in bed with a newborn. But about the nursing. I cried and grieved that I could not give my baby my milk, that I was somehow depriving her and she would not be as strong and healthy and maybe not as intelligent because she had to drink formula instead of my breast milk. And it is something that has really bothered me for the past 2 years.

Well, Andrina had her 2-year-old well child visit yesterday. And I have the update on her growth. At birth, she was only 6 lbs, 6 ozs (14th percentile) and 18 inches (8th percentile). Now at 2 years old, she is 27 lbs (57th percentile) and 34 inches tall (66th percentile). Wow. Looking at the actual growth chart for her, it hits me that I have done a wonderful job nurturing my child. To go from the mere 8th percentile for height to the 66th! Amazing. And from the 14th percentile for weight to the 57th. Amazing again. No, I could not breast feed her but the formula certainly did not do any harm. In fact, I don't think her growth could have been any better with the breast milk. So for the first time in my life as a mom, I no longer feel guilty about that. My child is more than healthy. She is incredibly healthy and has made such improvements from how tiny she was as a newborn to how she is now. And I know all of the care and attention I've put into nurturing her is evident in so many other ways too. She can read 150+ words, knows 21+ body parts, can count to 9 and she's ONLY 2 years old! Wow. And most importantly, I've been able to form a strong bond with her and her with me. I think I get an A+ for the first 2 years of being a mom...