Secure

Today and Tuesday were both tear-free and cry-free when I took Andrina to school. Both times she was happy to go run off to start playing and for a change, I had to be the one to go after her and give her hugs and kisses goodbye. I am so happy that she is secure yet today I say "goodbye" to a part of our bond. Slowly but surely, my baby will need me less and less. Even that term, how much longer can I call her a "baby" and get away with it? When I said that today was a tear-free day at school, that was only partly true. I was the one who silently cried by myself when I got back to the car and I realized these early days, weeks, months, and years of my precious child's life will soon give way to time's fate. She will continue to grow and develop and become more independent. I always knew it but now I can actually feel it. The experience has started and I honestly am hating it. Yes, it has to happen. Yes, it needs to happen or it would be unfair to Andrina if it didn't. But I wish I could freeze time and Andrina and I could stay in our love affair forever. Days filled with playing and reading, giggling and cuddling, of my child wanting and needing me more than anyone. This is definitely the best time of my life and I am going to continue to savor it for as long as I can.